The Boy and the Peddler of Death (The Tale of Onora #1)
If you don't get the reference, this gif is from the song by En Vogue called "Never Gonna Get it (My Lovin')". So this book is never gonna get my love.
ETA: The link to the review in question, the author has been banned but there is links to screen caps on page 8 of the comments. https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/1299877698