Death and the Girl Next Door - Darynda Jones Disclaimer: I received this book free of charge from the Goodread's First Read giveaways. It was sent from the publisher in exchange for a review. This will not affect my review, and I will give my honest opinion. This review also has reaction!gifs.

Back Cover: Darynda Jones, author of The New York Times bestselling series that began with First Grave on the Right, brings us Death and the Girl Next Door, a thrilling Young Adult novel garnering high praise and early buzz from major authors

Ten years ago, Lorelei's parents disappeared without a trace. Raised by her grandparents and leaning on the support of her best friends, Lorelei is finally beginning to accept the fact that her parents are never coming home. For Lorelei, life goes on.

High school is not quite as painful as she thinks it will be, and things are as normal as they can be. Until the day the school's designated loner, Cameron Lusk, begins to stalk her, turning up where she least expects it, standing outside her house in the dark, night after night. Things get even more complicated when a new guy—terrifying, tough, sexy Jared Kovach—comes to school. Cameron and Jared instantly despise each other and Lorelei seems to be the reason for their animosity. What does Jared know about her parents? Why does Cameron tell Jared he can't have Lorelei? And what will any of them do when Death comes knocking for real? Thrilling, sassy, sexy, and inventive, Darynda Jones's first foray into the world of teens will leave readers eager for the next installment.

"Unique, witty, and touching—I LOVED THIS BOOK!" —P.C. Cast, New York Times bestselling author of The House of Night Series

General Thoughts: It just really sucked. I tried to give this book a chance, but it was like watching a train-wreck. Lorelei is slightly less annoying than Zoey from House of Night. I will also mention that I blame Twilight, even though it was not the first book of it's kind, that endorses unhealthy relationships and made it popular recently in the YA genre.

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Super stalking skillz.

Rating: Two stars

What I liked: I liked the actual plot, and the idea behind the series. It had potential to be really awesome. The writing itself was decent, and I didn't notice any obvious grammatical errors. Grammar, though, is not my area of expertise. I have to admit the super secret religious order was actually interesting, but by then I already checked out mentally from the book, because it was revealed near the end.

What I Disliked: The characters. I found them two-dimensional and the ones that I didn't dislike I found boring and bland. The main character, Lorelei is a sue. I could buy her being a psychic. Plot twist: She's a descended of a line of powerful psychics/possibly witches. Okay, maybe, I can buy it. Apparently they were burning witches before Sappho's time, because Sappho is a decent of this powerful witch as well. And don't forget Joan of Arc. History fail that made me laugh. Then it turns out she is important enough to have two angels, one sent to kill her and the other to protect her. Plot twist: she also has been possessed by a demon since early childhood, but she is so powerful and has supah skillz that she restrained this demon that possessed her, and didn't even realize it until that twist was revealed. Mhm.

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Quinn Fabray does not approve.

The main love interest: Jared. He was sent to stalk and kill her, but he couldn't so he saved her life. He is so tortured, and so sexxy so it's totes okay that the main character is in twu luv with him. Totally healthy message to send to teenagers. If someone is sexxah enough let them stalk and attempt to kill you. I could have been okay with this plot point if it was the writer showing how unhealthy this is, but it didn't seem like that to me. It felt like the writer was actually approving of this. Upon further thought, I realized that the writer could be voicing her opinions through Cameron, the other angel, but it's unlikely because he also stalked Lorelei to "protect her from Jared", luckily since Lorelei isn't actually attracted to him it was just creepy, until it was revealed he was an angel, so it was no longer creepy. Lorelei was actually surprised that he actually kills people, because he is the freaking angel of death. Kind of the point of his job title, sweetie.

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Professor does not approve of your shenanigans.

I suspect that there will be a future love triangle between Cameron, Jared, and Lorelei. My spidey senses are tingling.

There is a lot more I could comment on, but I think I made my point.

How I think this could have been improved: Third person narration, and stop with idealizing stalking and attempted murder, please.

How this should be marketed: It's the next Twilight meets House of Night.

Do I recommend this? Only if you are a masochist, or Twilight and/or House of Night fans.

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This is me, running away to find my palate cleanser.